A Male Identity Crisis?
Men, especially young men, appear to be caught in an identity crisis, in many societies. On one hand, they are told to learn by heart rules, bodies of knowledge and systems, from laws to religious rules to educational expectations and computer systems. As part of fitting in, they should quietly conform and peacefully integrate themselves into what already exists and has been laid out like highway grids.
On the other hand, men know that all too often admiration, including admiration from the opposite sex, is more frequently given to those who are outstanding, who don't fit in, push the rules to the limits and beyond, think the unthinkable, and get themselves into "cliff hangers" which are too scary for the ordinary mortal. "Cutting edge knowledge" sounds academic, but it also brings up memories of sharp swords and cutting through the stuff still held dear by the competition.
In many parts of our world, young women are still taught that it is better to learn daily routines, to be caretakers of what is already at hand, to "recycle" in all kinds of ways. While women are rising to top positions, their main function often is seen as that of a manager, an administrator, not as leaders who push us into unknown waters. One does not have to presuppose any biological dispositions, here. The fact is that the self-image of many women and the expectations for women in most societies still fit these characteristics quite comfortably.
While generalizations, especially about gender roles, are usually tricky, it can be said that men are more often confused, these days, about their gender identity because they are torn between the message to fit in peacefully, (which could make them seem rather similar to traditional women) and the message that "real" men are adventurers, step outside the lines, and perhaps become a hero "in Her eyes," when they return victorious and battered from the battle.
Software companies as well as quite a number of other innovative enterprises still look for the "crazy kid," the one who is too independent to simply implement old code, put patches on holes in flawed systems. While break-through innovation is often serendipitous, it frequently is also the result of risk-taking, fiddling with the impossible, fearless courting of disaster, ridicule, and carelessness toward personal welfare.
We give lip-service to the value of such craziness, usually after someone has returned successfully from such a never-never land, and we enjoy the benefits of their high-risk behavior. Upfront, however, we often just see it as unruly mischief, as disorderly conduct, as an inability to fit in.
In leadership programs, such as the university leadership program I am part of, female applicants are far more numerous than male applicants, often 75% to 80%. The irony is that many, (although clearly not all) of the female applicants have been very good at school, getting good grades the teacher's way: so now they also want to be told how one becomes a good leader, by the book. Male students, who are often far more in need of some insights about effective leadership, usually don't apply because they instinctively feel that they will have to fight for any leadership positions in their very own way, outpacing their competition by doing the unexpected.
Again, it is too easy to stereotype here, but if we take time to understand some of the patterns of frustrations in our best and brightest, it is quite often the case that the female leadership students can be unhappy because they see the expectations, the outcomes, the rules as not clear enough - while the male students with leadership potential are frustrated because it is all too "safe," too much regurgitation, with too little chance to become a hero.
Hollywood and other socially influential media, including religious texts tend to support these differences in expectations. History is full of great heroes and prophets who went against the established order. Our young men, on the other hand, now should just sit down and learn the dates and facts about these heroes, often in windowless, stifling classrooms, under the supervision of managers and teachers who have never dared to risk much of anything.
The schoolboy in England dreaming about being Robin Hood, the schoolboy in Bangladesh dreaming about being a Freedom Fighter in the War of Liberation, while their teachers fuss about spelling and memorizing the right numbers: what becomes of these "uncivilized" dreams when the boys turn into men, looking to be admired and feared by someone?
Just as universities can lose the most promising young leaders precisely because of trying to provide the best, predictable education for them, so businesses and industry can lose the most promising minds, simply because managing bureaucrats and teachers systematically try to eradicate disorder.
Then the energetic men go home, sometimes to become wife beaters, sometimes to try to anesthetize themselves by all means available. If they are "lucky" they may even have a president to send them to a war in Iraq, etc., or they become gang members, protesters, revolutionaries, or even terrorists. Most likely they will just slowly bore themselves to death.
Our economic, social, religious, and educational leadership is faced with an apparently self-contradictory task: how do we encourage such vigorous, healthy energy in our most gifted and most passionate community members, while at the same time maintaining an effective sense of order, stability and peace?
At present, one can still say with some justification that it is still primarily young men, or even some not so young men, who seem lost in the frameworks of our current social structures. However, there are indications that energetic, professional women are increasingly also looking for challenging work, for ways to become innovators, for areas in which to do the unexpected. The rate of depression in educated and gifted women is at least as high as among gifted young men. And the pressures of frustration turned to anger and the anxieties created by fear of self are on the rise, as well.
"Free Time"
During the year 2007 there was a lively discussion about whether Google had laid the path to its own doom, by giving its employees 20% free time to pursue their own crazy ideas. The prediction was that not only would employees just waste this time, but that the high rate of rejections of such innovative projects would make employees leave in droves. Well, Google is still here. Granted it has made constant adjustments, even with respect to some of the new products it offers, but it has survived crazy ideas quite well, so far.
Rejection is part of taking risks. Snowboarders who try out a new maneuver know that they will fall on their face quite a number of times, being "rejected" by the realities of snow and board. But they don't take it personally. Instead, the very frequency of failure often makes the activity all the more exciting and energizing.
Gravity, broken bones, ridicule are hard taskmasters for snowboarders, courted with dedication and enthusiasm by such enterprising young energy. The challenge for leaders is how to become similar tough taskmasters, while allowing for the same initiative and search for pride through adventure to flow freely. Our society desperately needs leaders who can establish environments for this intense spirit of innovation, of stepping outside convention, for fruitfully and not so fruitfully breaking through barriers.
We are approaching the limits of how destructive we can be with warfare, crime, violence against "those others," be they foreigners, women, men, children, or members of varying political or religious persuasion. The weapons now available or soon to be developed are simply too powerful to be our best response to frustrated adventurers or innovators.
True leaders will have to know how to keep the innovation-suppressing managers in line so that inventive energies are not kept in line, at least not all the time. True leaders will also never tire of opening up fruitful new avenues for "crazy ideas" and for impatient heroes, intense hearts and minds out to do something truly outstanding, in ways never thought about before (at least not in the eyes of the excited innovator).
Georg Gadow, Ph.D. directs the Leadership Track of the University Honors and Leadership (UHL) program at the University of Colorado at Denver. He has spent several months in Bangladesh working with a variety of organizations and individuals on leadership and ethics. Dr. Gadow can be contacted through the Executive Times or by email at georg.gadow@ucdenver.edu
